I've been thinking about language used in BDSM and one term that we hear regularly in discussion and in education and on kinktok is "negotiation" when it comes to scenes, contracts etc.
It's a term I use all the time. But because words have power it got me thinking about the term negotiating in the context of BDSM and whether it is actually appropriate for the context it is used for.
For many when we talk about negotiation, it implies a transactional arrangement, one where there is compromises and a win and lose outcome. But that isn't how BDSM works or the communication qhen discussing a scene with potential play partner.
We don't negotiate our limits or boundaries. We discuss them and communicate them and then we navigate those limits and boundaries and create a scene that everyone can agree to and is comfortable with. So it's not really a negotiation.
Which kind of lead me to the term navigate. We navigate the agreement of a scene, we navigate our limits and boundaries in pre-care. But we don't compromise on them, there is no win and lose outcome.
I find it an interesting rabbit hole and I am interested in what others think about it. Feel free to add to the discussion!
AnnaKink
__________________________________
Owner, Founder and all round BOSSLADY of Altlife.Community
Login or register to post your reply