Honorifics

AnnaKink
AnnaKink
on August 15 2022 at 08:26 AM
Thought I would start an educational thread and open up to thr community to discuss. 
 
I came across this from a pro-Domme on instagram and I was trying to work out why this post rubbed me the wrong way. 
 

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So I thought about why it didn't sit right....
 
My thoughts because this is a pro-Domme talking about how things work as a SexWorker and Professional Dominant. But that this doesn't always work inthe real world with the average person.
 
Why? Because every BDSM community is different - so thr above post doesn't reflect that the BDSM lifestyle is customisable and in different regions morals and acceptable behaviour is different. It also doesn't consider the history behind the phrase "submission is earnt" - which was coined years ago in an attempt to educate submissives in the lifestyle because there was an upsurgence of abusive dominants and practices.
 
There is a movement in the online community that talks about honorifics not to be used unless consented to or only with someone you are in a dynamic with. Its not about hierarchy, it's about consent.
 
But depending on what community you evolved in what is written may very well be what happens in your local community. 
 
I am interested in other people's thoughts on this because I think discussing these topics is important. 
 
AnnaKink
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Owner, Founder and all round BOSSLADY of Altlife.Community
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Bald_Boi  
From AnnaKink said:
That was my thoughts  the Pro-Domme responded to my clarification and agreed that they were referring to professional services but in the general population and lifestyle it is very different. 
 
I didn't see this before I typed out my initial reply, but I still think there needs to be some discussion before expecting the title to happen.  Someone you don't know yet should not be calling you by an honorific, regardless of if it is professional services.  I feel like the honorifics can have too much of a potential emotional impact to expect it from anyone who comes to you.  I think it should be up to the person approaching you on if they feel comfortable enough to call you that initially.
scheduleon August 15 2022 at 12:14 PM
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