Honorifics

Oh dang do I have some thoughts on this.  To start, when I was first learning about the kink lifestyle it was exclusively online through a few different websites.  Luckily I did not jump into a dynamic until I could delve into everything possible and learn what it truly meant to be a dom and to be in a power dynamic.  This writing does not feel like the writing of a true dom/domme.  This feels like the writing of someone who still does not understand that in any kink dynamic, both parties have equal power and equal in terms of any kind of "hierarchy" there may be.  What sits wrong with me is the entitlement that any submissive should call them by their "title" even when zero negotiation or vetting has happened.  So any random person who identifies as a submissive should be calling them by a title that they have not earned from that person.  That is ridiculous to me.  In any situation where I am interacting with a person who is submissive, I treat them as a normal person just as I expect them to treat me.  Until such time that we both discuss and feel comfortable with honorifics being exchanged.  Hell I even like to discuss before something as simple as a nickname is used just to make sure both parties are comfortable with it.

 

I guess the kind of TL/DR of it is this.  If you are a dominant of any kind, you do not get called by your honorifics until discussing its use with the individual in question.  And this has to consist of, at bare minimum, you asking if they are comfortable using that honorific.

 

Also as an aside, I fully believe personally that the submissive should decide which honorific they would like to call their dominant.  Mainly because some titles might have a lot more meaning than others and I don't believe the dominant should demand a certain title if a submissive is not comfortable with it.  But that's just my two cents 👍