Honorifics

AnnaKink
AnnaKink
on August 15 2022 at 08:26 AM
Thought I would start an educational thread and open up to thr community to discuss. 
 
I came across this from a pro-Domme on instagram and I was trying to work out why this post rubbed me the wrong way. 
 

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So I thought about why it didn't sit right....
 
My thoughts because this is a pro-Domme talking about how things work as a SexWorker and Professional Dominant. But that this doesn't always work inthe real world with the average person.
 
Why? Because every BDSM community is different - so thr above post doesn't reflect that the BDSM lifestyle is customisable and in different regions morals and acceptable behaviour is different. It also doesn't consider the history behind the phrase "submission is earnt" - which was coined years ago in an attempt to educate submissives in the lifestyle because there was an upsurgence of abusive dominants and practices.
 
There is a movement in the online community that talks about honorifics not to be used unless consented to or only with someone you are in a dynamic with. Its not about hierarchy, it's about consent.
 
But depending on what community you evolved in what is written may very well be what happens in your local community. 
 
I am interested in other people's thoughts on this because I think discussing these topics is important. 
 
AnnaKink
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Owner, Founder and all round BOSSLADY of Altlife.Community
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I definitely agree that it doesn't sit quiet right. With it being a pro-Domme, I understand it a little since (in most cases, but I'm not sure about this one) it's a paid service where the respect should be implied. In the real world. I do believe it should be earned and consented to. I've been in plenty of situations where the fake Dom would demand to have an honorific used before I was ready and trusting. Said Doms would then just ghost me. So I will always stick by my vetting before giving the honorific. But on the other hand if I have the respect for said top but not ready for that full honorific, my good ole southern manners demand manners. So i just don't capitalize. "Yes sir", "Yes ma'am", etc. 
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