In FinDom there is obviously a lot of talk about tiktok Dommes and new/baby dommes and advice and support and tips on making it in this kind of SW.
Unfortunately, there isn't as much public support for providing education and tips to the subs and paypigs.
BASICS TO START
I appreciate that particularly in FinDom, it's history goes back to reparations to minority groups specifically Black Women, and as anyone who is part of the BDSM lifestyle knows, it is important to understand the history. Because of FinDoms history, many who Domme in this space, come at it from a place of misandry, which is perfectly valid. This is why so many Dommes engage in blackmail, humiliation, etc.
FinDom, as a Kink itself is essentially just money and giving money because the sub gets excited about just giving money. At its foundation this is and there any many who keep it simple, a sub sends money to a domme and that's it no further interaction.
What develops however is where other kinks get involved and as a sub, knowing other kinks, fetishes and more.abiit BDSM principles is going to be important.
THE CONCEPT OF VETTING
So as a sub if you are wanting or seeking more than just the pleasure of silently sensing to a Domme or Dommes and are wanting to incorporate or need to incorporate other elements, then this is where vetting us going to be important for you.
Vetting is not knew and if you are already involved in BDSM then you probably are already familiar with the term and what it involves. For long term Dom/sub dynamics, particularly where ownership is involved, in BDSM vetting can take months, it can include reference checking, negotiations and discussions around kinks, limits, consideration periods etc
The purpose of vetting is to ensure everyone involved is who they say they are, are safe to play with and likely to have compatibility.
In the online space, things can be a little different because you aren't likely to meet the Domme in person. So you really need to take your time before approaching or engaging a FinDom who you might be wanting to explore more with.
WHAT ARE YOU AFTER
First off, as a sub you need to know what you are after, long term, debt contract, humiliation, sissification, TPE, praise, cared for etc. Knowing what desires or needs you want met through the process of financial domination is going to help you in deciding which Dommes to approach.
Quick side point: if you are after just buying content and not into sending just because or being dominated... then don't approach a FinDom. Instead see if they have links where they sell content and just pay for their content.
Secondly, know what your boundaries and limits are and stick to them! There is no point in starting a conversation with someone and you can't clearly communicate your limits or boundaries.
VETTING ONLINE
Lets talk aboit vetting.
First thing, lurk! As a Domme it sounds like the most ridiculous thing I should be telling subs to do, but you have to. You need to lurk and follow Dommes across various platforms. And there's a few reasons for this:
1. To see what they post!
2. See how they respond to other posts.
3. Does what they post interest you?
4. Is what they are posting lining up with what you are after?
5. Are they genuinely engaged in the community
If they are just posting "approach" "send" comments or mass spamming the same picture, despite how hot they may look: 🚩🚩🚩 red flags
Secondly, found a few who seem interesting, post various things, might be a good fit. Fantastic, now here's your first checklist:
1. Are they age verified through a third party (OF, LF, Fansly links etc)?
Minimum here is age verification if you are going to send. If they do not have readily available to you an age verification link to a third party..... move on, you need to be sure they aren't a minor.
2. Do they have a post or link to a verification video?
Want to make sure your dealing with a genuine person, not just anybody over the age of 18. Then see if they have a verification video pinned or in their links.
Now if their age verification link you can tell it's them. You may not need this, and you wouldn't be needing this for 2dFD or clearly communicated catfish fetish Dom's.
If not you can always ask for one and if they don't provide it or refuse to or make you pay for it... 🚩🚩🚩🚩 red flags
3. Do they have other links, information in their profile that provides information.
This is really so you can see what they are posting across platforms if you aren't already aware of them. It also helps to identify how engaged they are and effort they are putting into their work.
Vetting and how much you do, is going to come down to what you are after. If it's silent sends then age verification is probably enough. If you are looking at TPE, then you are going to want to do in-depth vetting not just lurking but paying tribute and going into communication about them, asking for references, history etc.
MY GREEN FLAGS
This is just my list of green flags as Domme and someone whose been in the BDSM lifestyle and community for almost 20 years.
💚 Age verification!!!!!!!!
💚 Clearly put in effort into their brand, posts, content etc
💚 Has experience/knowledge on RACK/PRICK principles
💚 Engaged in the community (outside of promoting themself)
💚 Good communication skills
💚 Understands that Domination isn't always about sex/nudes ans is psychological
💚 Clear from their content what they offer or the style of Domination they offer
💚 Engages in negotiations, discusses limits and boundaries
💚 Always learning and improving themself
(Caveat depending on what you are after they don't need all of these)
would love others suggestions in the comments as well to vet Dommes online particularly in the FinDom space.