A Brief History of Kink

The history of kink, also known as BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism), is a complex and varied one. Kink practices and communities have existed for centuries, though they have often been hidden or stigmatized. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, kink began to be more openly discussed and written about, with the publication of books such as the Marquis de Sade's "120 Days of Sodom" and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's "Venus in Furs."

During the mid-20th century, interest in kink began to be more widely discussed in the medical and psychological communities, but it was often pathologized and viewed as a form of deviance. However, in the 1960s and 1970s, the feminist and gay rights movements helped to change attitudes towards kink and other forms of sexuality, and kink communities and events began to form more openly.

In the 1980s, the publication of the first edition of "The Scene" by Scene World helped kink communities to connect. The internet and the rise of online communities in the 1990s and 2000s further allowed kink enthusiasts to connect with each other, share information, and find events and resources.

Today, kink is more widely accepted and discussed, although it is still not always fully understood or accepted by mainstream society. Kink communities continue to evolve and grow, and many events and resources are available for those interested in exploring kink. However, it is still important to be aware of the legal and cultural context in which kink is practiced, as it remains heavily stigmatized in some areas and can get you into legal trouble.

Kink, Fetishes and BDSM

In everyday conversation, terms like BDSM, kink, and fetish are often used interchangeably, but they each have their own unique meanings and nuances. It's important to understand the distinction between them in order to have an informed and respectful conversation about alternative sexual desires.

BDSM is not a standalone category, but rather a type of kink that encompasses a wide range of practices such as bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, and sadomasochism. Kinks, on the other hand, are any sexual desires or appetites that fall outside of what is considered mainstream or conventional. They are incredibly diverse and can encompass anything from specific fantasies to particular types of dirty talk.

A fetish, on the other hand, is a specific sexual fixation on an object or act. It is something that a person needs in order to feel sexually aroused. This could be anything from an article of clothing to a body part. It's important to note that not all fetishes are inherently sexual - it could be a non-sexual object or act that a person has a strong emotional or psychological attachment to.

It's also worth mentioning that while kinks and fetishes can overlap in certain areas, one can have a kink without having a fetish, and vice versa. For example, someone might have a kink for BDSM but not have a fetish for any specific props or clothing associated with it. On the other hand, someone might have a fetish for high heels but not consider it as a kink.

It's important to note that a kink can evolve into a fetish for a person. It starts as something that adds to sexual experience, and it can become something that is a requirement for sexual gratification. This is one of the main points of overlap between the two terms, and it's where things can become complicated.

In summary, kink encompasses a wide range of alternative sexual practices and desires, while a fetish refers to a specific object or act that is necessary for sexual gratification. So, next time you hear someone use the terms, you will know that they are not the same thing and have different connotations.

Kink shaming and Vanilla shaming

Kink and fetish practices have long been misunderstood and stigmatized in our society, which is heavily influenced by sex-negative and religious ideologies. People who engage in kink or have fetishes are often viewed as abnormal or mentally ill, which is simply not true. This negative perception is perpetuated by a phenomenon known as "kink-shaming," where individuals are belittled, made fun of, or pitied for their sexual interests and desires.

It is important to note that just because someone engages in a kink or fetish, it does not mean there is anything wrong with them. Everyone has their own unique sexual preferences, and all kinks are valid as long as they are practiced with consenting parties. It's also important to remember that children and animals cannot consent, so any kink practice that involves them is not valid.

However, kink-shaming is not limited to just making fun of individuals for their erotic desires. Even the sex-positive community is fighting against the constant stream of judgment, shame, and hatred towards the kink community. For example, social media platforms like TikTok have been banning kink-creators and sex-educators for content violations, even if the content is not sexual or graphic. This is making it harder for individuals to access education and resources about kink.

Another form of shaming that has been present in kink community is Vanilla-shaming, which is the shaming of individuals who only engage in mainstream sexual practices. However, it's worth noting that vanilla sex is a kink in itself, and everyone should be allowed to enjoy the type of sex that they prefer.

Change in society starts with each of us as individuals. It's important to reflect on whether we are helping to change the narrative around sex and eroticism or if we're part of the problem. And if you are new to the kink community, it's important to do your research, rather than relying on myths and misconceptions.

Here are some of the most common misconceptions about kink:

1. Kink is inherently violent.
2. Only certain types of people engage in kink.
3. Kink is a form of abuse.
4. Kink is always linked to trauma.
5. Kink is not safe.

It's important to remember that kink is a diverse and ever-evolving community, and not everything you hear or read will be true. Educating oneself on the matter can help in removing the taboo of kinks and fetishes, and allow people to express themselves freely and safely.