Roles and Archetypes

Everyone is different, and finding two kinksters with the exact same preferences is probably impossible. There are however a few common ‘archetypes’ that people can identify with to varying degrees. ​You can find out your archetype/s with some great Kink/BDSM tests online. 

• Dominant/Top Dominants like to be in charge. Some like to have their partner obey them without questioning, others like some resistance while taking it their way.
• Submissive/Bottom Submissives like to follow. Some like to give the control away to their partner(s), some like to have it forcibly taken from them
• Sadist Sadists enjoy inflicting (certain types of) pain on their partner(s), usually in a sexual context.
• Masochist Masochists enjoy receiving (certain types of) pain from their partner(s), usually in a sexual context.
• Rigger Riggers like to tie up and restrain their partner(s), using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars…).
• Rope Bunny Rope bunny likes to be tied up and restrained, using rope and/or other attributes (chains, cuffs, spreader bars…).
• Degrader Degradation givers like to degrade and humiliate their play partner(s), either by acting upon them in a degrading way, or by or by forcing them to do things they consider degrading.
• Degradee Degradation receivers like to be degraded and humiliated by their play partner(s), either by being acted upon in a degrading way, or by being forced do things they consider degrading.
• Owner Owns and takes responsibility over a pet, on a 24/7 basis. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. Often provides in animal role play attributes (e.g. puts pet in a cage) but not necessarily.
• Pet Is the property of their owner in daily life. Sexuality is not necessarily involved. Often combined with some form of animal role play (puppy, kitten, etc.) but not necessarily.
• Brat Tamer Brat tamers are enjoy handling bratty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness from the side of the submissive, rather than a form of rudeness.
• Brat Brats are, in essence, naughty submissives. They find disobedience a form of playfulness rather than letting their dominant down.
• Primal (Hunter) Primals are mainly focused on their natural instincts and they enjoy letting their inner animal out during sex. All of the labels, roles, and protocols go out the window, and the prey is hell-bent on getting away from its predator (you).
• Primal (Prey)  The key part for primals play is that the participants show their raw, emotional sexual feelings during play. All of the labels, roles, and protocols go out the window, and the prey (you) is hell-bent on getting away from its predator.
• Ageplayer Ageplayers like to play with age as part of their kink. They typically take on a much younger or older age than they actually are, or prefer playing with a partner that does so. Attributes and behavior changes (such as pacifiers, coloring books, speaking in more childlike language, etc.) are commonly paired with this.

Care Giver (age player)Care Givers (sometimes Daddies/Mommies) take on a caretaker role in the relationship, being a guide as much a dominant. Using subtle psychological mechanisms rather than brute power, they nurture their littles into obedience.

Littles/Middles (age player) Littles/middles (girls/boys) are submissive spirits that mix childlike innocence with naughty sexual curiosity. They long for a nurturing loving dominant who plays a guiding, almost parental role in their lives. While they require a softer approach to be dominated than most other submissives.

Note: please see our section on age regression for information about age regressors and the difference between ageplay and age regressing. 

• Exhibitionist Exhibitionists enjoy showing their naked body or a sexual activity to other people. Definitions vary with respect to whether those being shown this, should be looking for such encounter or not.
• ​Voyeurs Voyeurs enjoy watching the nakedness or sexual activity of other people. Definitions vary with respect to whether those being watched should be aware of this, or not.
• Experimentalists Experimentalists want to have tried it all. An open mind and an insatiable curiosity are their key features, and they will rarely form an opinion before they have gathered first hand experience.
• Non-monogamists Non-monogamists do not see sexuality as necessarily a 1 on 1 thing. They all have one thing in common: their sexuality is more than just between them and one fixed partner.

Note: please see our educational information on polyamoury and ethical non-monogomy

• Switch Switches like to… well, switch. Always taking a dominant or top position is not for them, neither is always taking a submissive or bottom position. Some prefer to switch with the same partner or partners, others have a dominant play partner and a submissive play partner
• Vanilla Vanilla people enjoy regular, standard sex and relationship models. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you’re having fun!

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Regardless of the role or archetype you identify with or are interested in exploring remember that informed consent is paramount. As long as you have discussed, negotiated, understand and effectively communicated your thoughts, concerns, wants, needs etc and your play partner/s have done the same then what you do as consenting adults is between you.