In the BDSM lifestyle, aftercare is a commonly discussed topic that highlights the importance of taking care of oneself and one's partner after a scene or sexual encounter. However, before diving into the physical aspect of BDSM, it's equally important to engage in a crucial step - Pre-care.
Pre-care involves discussing and communicating expectations, boundaries, and desires with your partner before engaging in a BDSM scene. This type of care is not only crucial for promoting safety, comfort, and mutual consent, but also sets the stage for a positive and pleasurable experience. Through open communication, partners can discuss their likes and dislikes, as well as any experimental ideas they would like to explore. It's also an opportunity for partners to express their boundaries and establish trust and respect in the relationship.
But, how can one practice pre-care? The key is to focus on what you need before a scene or intimate moment, and communicate that with your partner. For some, part of the pre-care process involves engaging in rituals that help them get into the right headspace. This could include meditation, submissive posing, stretching, self-care and mindfulness strategies, or even physical touch without escalation. On the other hand, for those engaging in long-distance BDSM play, pre-care might look different, such as setting aside time for self-care before an online session.
During pre-care, common activities include discussing the scene, negotiating and discussing boundaries and limits, checking in on each other's emotional state, and setting the mood with music or sounds. By turning off electronic devices, partners can eliminate interruptions and fully immerse themselves in the moment.
According to sexual health researchers, there are two primary modes of desire - spontaneous and responsive. If your desires tend to be more responsive in nature, then pre-care might be a great way to set the mood and prepare yourself for a BDSM scene.
Pre-care is another important aspect of BDSM that shouldn't be overlooked. By taking the time to communicate and set the tone, partners can ensure a safe, comfortable, and pleasurable BDSM experience. What activities do you do as "pre-care" before a scene or intimacy? Feel free to share below.