Dating as a submissive in the BDSM world can be both exciting and challenging. It's important to find a partner who respects your boundaries and supports your desires, but it's not always easy to know where to start. In this article, we'll explore 8 essential dating tips that can help you navigate the dating scene and find the perfect partner for you. From knowing your worth to protecting your safety, these tips will give you the confidence and knowledge you need to find the relationship that's right for you. So whether you're a seasoned submissive or just starting out, read on for some valuable insights and advice on dating in the BDSM world.
Value your submission
When considering submitting to a dominant, it is important to understand the value of your submission. As a submissive, you bring your own unique qualities, skills, and experiences to the relationship, and you should be aware of your own worth. At the same time, it is also important to evaluate the dominant and determine if they are a good fit for you and your submission.
It is not uncommon for a dominant to tell you that you are "under consideration" while they assess your worthiness as a submissive. However, it is important to remember that the process of determining whether someone is a good fit should be a two-way street. While the dominant is evaluating you, you should also be evaluating them to see if they are a good fit for you and your submission.
A dominant who is worthy of your submission will respect this process and understand the importance of mutual consideration. They will recognize that submitting is a big decision and will value the qualities and skills you bring to the relationship. They will also understand that their own worthiness as a dominant is something that you will be evaluating as well. Ultimately, finding the right fit is key to a successful and fulfilling power dynamic relationship, and both parties should be willing to engage in this mutual evaluation process.
You are more than your kinks
As a submissive, it is important to remember that you are a full and multifaceted person, with a rich and diverse life outside of the dungeon. Your submission should never define you or reduce you to a mere "play thing". A dominant who truly values and respects you will understand that you have a wealth of experiences, interests, and passions that make you unique and special.
For example, perhaps you have a passion for doodling, gardening, playing video games, or eating junk food. These interests are just as important and valid as your submission, and they should be celebrated and valued by your dominant. In fact, sharing these interests and aspects of your vanilla life can be a great way to strengthen your bond and deepen your connection.
So, don't be afraid to share your hobbies and interests with your dominant. Whether it's discussing your favorite video games, showing off your doodles, or indulging in junk food together, these activities can be a great way to connect and deepen your relationship outside of the dungeon. Remember, your submission should never be the only defining aspect of your relationship, and a good dominant will recognize and value the full, multifaceted person that you are.
Be aware of sub-frenzy
As a submissive, it's important to be aware of the phenomenon known as "sub frenzy". This is when our desire for the endorphins and adrenaline of BDSM experiences becomes so intense that we may take risks that we wouldn't normally take. This can include playing with people who haven't proven their skills, accepting toxic behavior, or ignoring red flags in a potential dominant.
To counter the effects of sub frenzy, it's important to take a step back and approach things in a measured and deliberate way. One way to do this is to explore BDSM solo or with a completely platonic play partner. This can help you to get your BDSM fix and satisfy your desires, while avoiding the risks associated with playing with unfamiliar partners.
Additionally, it's important to have a group of trusted people who can help you spot red flags and provide a reality check. These people should be someone you trust and can turn to for support and advice. They can help you see the situation more clearly and make sure that you are making safe and healthy choices.
Remember, BDSM is an intimate and powerful experience, and it's important to approach it with caution and care. By being aware of sub frenzy and taking steps to counteract it, you can ensure that your BDSM experiences are safe, fulfilling, and enjoyable.
Boundaries are beautiful
Maintaining boundaries is an important part of any BDSM relationship. Your boundaries define what you are and are not comfortable with, and they help to ensure that you have a safe and enjoyable experience. As a submissive, it is essential to be aware of your boundaries and to communicate them clearly and effectively.
Saying "yes" when you really want to say "no" is a surefire way to undermine your boundaries and put yourself in a potentially dangerous or uncomfortable situation. It is important to be honest with yourself and your dominant about what you are and are not willing to do, and to stick to those boundaries, no matter what. This requires a high degree of self-awareness, tenacity, and good communication skills, all of which are attractive and desirable qualities in a submissive.
When communicating your boundaries, it is important to spell out both your soft and hard limits. This means being clear about what you are willing to explore and what is off-limits. If a dominant is trying to push you past your limits or coerce you into doing something that you are uncomfortable with, it is important to walk away. The right dominant will respect your boundaries and understand that your comfort and safety are non-negotiable.
The world of BDSM can be an exciting and thrilling place, filled with endless possibilities for self-expression, exploration, and fulfilment. Here are top 10 tips for submissives navigating the dating world:
- Know Your Worth: Remember that you are a valuable and deserving person, and don't settle for less than you deserve in a relationship.
- Celebrate your vanilla life: Your submission should never be the only defining aspect of your relationship, find common interests outside of BDSM play.
- Communicate Your Boundaries: Be clear about what you want and need in a relationship, and don't compromise on your values or your safety.
- Take Things Slow: Don't rush into a relationship or into BDSM activities before you are ready. Take your time to get to know your partner and make sure that you are comfortable with each other.
- Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off or if you sense that your partner is not treating you with respect, listen to your instincts and end the relationship.
- Seek Out Support: Join BDSM communities like on Altlife.Community or find supportive friends who can offer advice and guidance as you navigate the dating world.
- Be Honest and Open: Be open and honest with your partner about your desires, your boundaries, and your expectations. This will help to build trust and respect in the relationship.
- Maintain Your Independence: Don't give up your own life or your own interests for your partner. Maintaining your independence and your own sense of self is important for a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
- Embrace Your Kinks: Be proud of who you are and what you enjoy, and don't be afraid to express yourself and explore your desires.
- Protect Your Safety: Always prioritize your safety, both physically and emotionally, in any BDSM activities or relationships.
The world of BDSM dating can be rich and fulfilling for submissives who know their worth, communicate effectively, and protect their safety. By following these 8 tips, you can find a partner who respects your boundaries and supports your desires, and enjoy a relationship that is both satisfying and empowering. So embrace your kinks, be proud of who you are, and never be afraid to express yourself and explore your deepest desires.
