Long Distant Relationships

Long Distance Can Be Tough

A long-distance dating relationship can be tough, far more so than a normal relationship. Trying to connect with someone who is not actually near you is the major problem plaguing long-distance relationships. But just because it is hard does not mean it is impossible. Plenty of couples live happily through a long-distance relationship.

How to have a long Distant Relationship

How to have a long-distance relationship is a question that more of us are asking given the current state of the economy.  More of us are having to travel further afield in order to find well-paid employment and that sometimes means leaving a loved one behind.  Or you may never have lived close to one another.  With the increasing number of people meeting over the internet, it is becoming very common to find yourself in love with someone who lives some distance away.

Is a long-distance relationship easy?  No, but with hard work and perseverance, it is possible.  Communication is key and finding ways to communicate is something that most people struggle with.  While email and texting are wonderful inventions, they can sometimes lead to disagreements and misunderstandings because the person's true personality doesn't always show through.  Your partner may say something to you on an email that causes you deep frustration and hurt.  Yet if he had said the same thing to you while he held your hand or had just given you a cuddle, it wouldn't have caused any problems.

Long-distance relationships can cause other issues too. You may feel lonely when your partner is away.  We all have those days where the only thing that will make us feel better is a cuddle and a hug.  Easy to do when you live together but not so easy when he is the other side of the country or perhaps even deployed overseas.

So how do you make this type of relationship work?  You need to lay down some ground rules of what is and isn't acceptable behavior.  It is important to know whether you are in an exclusive relationship or free to date other people.

You need to find things to do to occupy your time when your partner is away.  You could learn a new language or take an evening course or study for some exams at work.  Try to pick something you will enjoy doing to fill the lonely times ahead.

Knowing you will only see each other one or two times a month will make those times extra special. You will probably find that both of you make an extra special effort to enjoy yourself and have a good time.   In the meantime all the corresponding by email and phone will help you to really get to know one another at a deeper level.  You can share views and opinions by email that you may have difficulty broaching face to face.  If you have been together prior to the distance splitting you up, having time apart will help you decide whether you have a future together or not. If as a couple you can survive this period of distance you will be stronger and better prepared to face the challenges life will throw at you.

The goal to making such a relationship a success is knowing how to maintain your connection and bond despite the distance separating you from each other. To help you with this task are several simple tips.

1. Establish communication. In a normal relationship you see each other all the time, so talking is no real big deal. But in a long distance relationship it is far more difficult to just communicate. That is why it is important to establish a means of communicating from the start. Mail is an option, however more advanced methods are advised. Phone, VOIP, or even webcams are all excellent ways of staying in touch.

1. Try to meet up. No matter how much you talk, nothing beats actually meeting up in person. So if at all possible you should try to meet up with one another. It does not have to be huge, if you live close enough then driving up for a few hours would be all that is needed. However depending on the situation you may have to work a little bit more to be able to actually meet.

1. Build a hobby. Keeping your bond strong is important in a long distance dating relationship. A good way for keeping that bond strong is finding a hobby the two of you can share. Conventional hobbies can work, but ones you can do online are favored. Doing something together, even if over the internet, is important in keeping you connected.

1. Surprise your partner. Variety is the spice of life and whether you are together or apart, routines can get dull and boring. It is much harder to spice things up if you live apart from each other but you should still try. Surprising them is a great way to do this. Send them a random gift or something. If you really want to go all out you can pop in for a visit when they are not expecting it.

1. Share "kodak moments". We all have those times in our life that we really want to share with our loved ones. When in a long distance dating relationship this can be extremely difficult. But if you take pictures and videos and send them to your partner, you can keep them in the loop of what is important in your life, allowing you both to feel connected despite the long distance.

To take the loneliness out of the equation, here are some tips you can use:

1. Make a date night. Today, thanks to the internet, you can video chat. You can have "dinner" together or even watch a movie. Obviously, it's not the same as actually being together but it's better than just a phone call.

1. Try to talk to each other at least once a day. Keeping the lines of communication open is very important to the overall strength of your relationship. This is where many couples, both long distance and not, go wrong.

1. Make sure that you free up your schedule if your partner is going to be able to make it home for a day or two. They want to see you, they don't want to wait for you to finish up with work first.

Of course, on the other side of things, make sure you give your partner a reasonable amount of warning if you find that you are going to be able to come home earlier than thought (if you can).

That way they can have a little time to possibly rearrange their schedule and be ready to spend time with you.

These tips may not help with all the problems associated with your relationship, but they should help ease them making it easier to cope with the distance separating the two of you. As long as you keep on working at it, your relationship will remain strong.

Long Distant Relationships aren’t for everyone

If it's true that even the most convenient of relationships require a good amount of effort to thrive, then long distance relationships must have a slim chance of succeeding; at least that's how the conventional wisdom goes. There are several questions that need to be answered about this type of relationship, and it should also be noted that they don't work for everybody.

1. What are the details of the relationship? In other words, how far apart will you be, how long will you be apart, how often will you see each other, and so on. The more deeply in love the two of you are, the less important you will think these questions are. But the truth is that the more you love each other, the more important it is to understand the impact of the answers. It's a good idea to know as many details ahead of time so you can make a realistic plan.

1. How will you communicate with each other and how often? They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and there is some truth to that. The ability to communicate makes a big difference in the success of long distance relationships. You can use any method that you prefer from handwritten notes sent through the mail to exchanging e-mails; from talking on the telephone to online video chat. You should set up a schedule for when the two of you will talk, and this schedule should not be broken unless both of you agree to it (such as in the case of an emergency). You can also have guidelines about unexpected calls, but these would be optional. Seeing each other in person would also fall under the question of communication.

1. How much do you trust each other? This is often the biggest problems long distance couples face. Perhaps you and your partner have always trusted each other, or maybe you just thought that you did. But now that the possibility of a long distance relationship has entered the picture, you both have some doubts. It's gut check time. You need to make sure that you trust each other completely if there is any hope of things working out.

1. What is your end game? If things simply aren't working as well as you should, then you have two basic choices: you can either end the relationship, or you can end the long distance aspect of it. It's okay to operate from the assumption that things will work out just fine, but it's also a good idea to know when it's time for a change. You or your partner may notice that your feelings start to subside the longer the two of you are apart, and may decide that it's time to move on. On the other hand, your feelings may stay the same, but the long distance is becoming too burdensome. Either way, having a gracious way to handle those situations will make things a lot easier.

The most important thing in any kind of relationship is trust and communication. If you are not able to talk to the person that you are spending time with, then you have nothing. If you cannot both completely trust each other, you will never have a meaningful relationship or make it work. In a long-distance relationship, communication and trust are much more paramount.

Final thoughts

As you can see, long distance relationships really can work. They may take more time and effort, but it's worth it if the two of you can stay together while distance separates you.

Relationships always take work, and a long distance one is not much different. Although it takes more work it is often well worth it. Ultimately distance should not come between you and the one you love. If you follow these tips and keep your bond strong, your love will last until the day you can finally be together.