I love that kink is customisable, and that we can find our way through exploring our desires and interests in any way as long as we do it with consent and being risk aware.
One thing I am finding fascinating is the inter-connectedness with Service Tops, Topping from the bottom, submissives and Dominants. So what are all of these. My thoughts from experience and understanding - and I am sure there are other thoughts on this as well and I welcome people to share (remember we should get our information from a variety of sources)
Top - is the person doing something to someone
Bottom - is the person receiving something
Service Tops - get their direction from the bottom. They undertake acts and do things to the bottom that the bottom wants and has asked for.
Topping from the Bottom - is the reverse of the Service Top. The bottom is asking for things to be done to them. I never see topping from the bottom as problematic, unless there isn't CONSENT.
Submissive - submits, serves, does what the Dominants asks of them (we are talking broadly here as with everything nuance and differences)
Dominants - In control and in charge, make the decisions etc (we are talking broadly here as with everything nuance and differences)
Now obviously this is just a brain dump of ideas and everything is customisable and nothing set in stone... but this might be a way of looking at things for beginners who say want to become a Dominant, or a submissive?
For example, you are an s-type and you are wanting to serve and please but your partner is newer to these ideas. Topping from the bottom, and having them be a Service Top is probably a great first step but is not going to be sustainable in the long run for s-type because they are going to want the to give up that control to the Dominant.
Likewise, and experienced Dominant, might take on a Service Top role with a new submissive, while they establish trust and boundaries and limits. Because TPE, Blanket Consent etc is not something you want to step into straight away. Likewise this is not going to be sustainable for the Dominant, who wants and needs to be in control.
If two people are both looking to enter into these kind of dynamic play, then taking turns between servicing and topping from the bottom, might be a great way of exploring and finding out where you both sit.
I did do up a little venn diagram while I was contemplating how it all works in my head from my understanding lol Not sure bottom doms exist, though i have heard reference to it... and i was also looking at where specific types might fall within the diagram as well - eg: I would put say for example Daddy/Mommy Doms in with services Doms, a little but of Service Topping as well as being a D-type etc
I am really keen on other views on this:
How would you change the diagram?
Where would you put different role types within the diagram?
Do you see them as inter-connected or completely separate?
Do you have different understandings of service topping and topping from the bottom?
Do you feel like there are elements of everything in every dynamic because in a lot of cases TPE for example is transactional (exchange between two people who both get something)
AnnaKink
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Owner, Founder and all round BOSSLADY of Altlife.Community
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